Of course, a bereaved person needs to get over the initial shock to face their life again. Nothing will replace the loved-one they lost. However, they can turn to cooking to bring back positive memories. Whether shopping, making the meal, or eating, each aspect of their involvement together can be seen in a positive or a negative way.
When my neighbor lost her husband after a short time with cancer, she retreated. Nothing would induce her to answer my knock. I slid notes through her door, telling her I would be there for her when she wanted to talk. Over the duration of two weeks, I offered her snippets of tasty food so she didn't need to cook and she spoke faltering words to express her pain.
She lost a lot of weight. Her husband used to do the cooking.
The suggestion is that aromas from a special dish can bring back positive memories. The fragrance of cinnamon from a grandmother's favorite pudding might trigger recollections of a cooking lesson. The deep smell of a stew could induce happy thoughts of your mother's kitchen. Through food, we can remember all that was good about the departed loved-one.
Some hospices in England now run cookery courses to help relatives in the bereavement process. Some of them had started with no cooking skills at all, having lost a partner or parent who took on that role. But the course has helped them to embrace cooking and find enjoyment in life once again.
early thirty years ago, my appetite decreased when I separated from my husband. The pain was worse than the grief of losing a loved-one because I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.
My original decision would hurt my family and, most of all, my deeply depressed and disturbed husband of 27 years, who controlled and belittled me.
Okay, I know this is going to sound deranged, but I'll tell you anyway. I prayed for direction and received an affirmative answer. This powerful experience gave me the strength to carry on. I left my husband and suffered for nearly a year until we got back together again. Once more, I tried to make our marriage work with different rules. However, the union broke down when he chose my best friend, who supported him enough to seek help. Tests revealed his bipolar condition.
Once more, I plunged into grief. Food lost all importance and I became thinner than I'd ever been. Because I knew I would never be free, I left my home country of Australia and arrived in London. I didn't eat properly for another year until I met my present husband and began a new life. Now we're retired. He has taken over the cooking and prepares wonderful meals. I hate to contemplate a future without him. Would I try to recreate meals he'd cooked for me?
I'd love to hear your experiences with grief and how it affected your appetite. I'll bet you've got some stories to tell.