francene--blog. Year 2013
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May 30th

5/30/2013

 
Picturewww.geograph.org.uk
Writing boldly about my aging process, where few others dare to venture into exposition.

What is real? Only the present moment. Yes, we have our memories and records of past events, but these are nothing compared to the now. However, as we age, the present moment lacks the rewards of our former vitality. We want to live long and healthy lives, but to what end? More and more people are living longer, yet life doesn't offer an unending field of clover.

For me, the days of youth are long gone. Yet, in my mind, I am the same. Well—not quite. Every time I glance down, the wrinkled skin on my hands drags protesting thoughts to my aging body. The wrinkles on my hand hurt too, especially around the creases between my thumb and the back of the hand. At least my mind is still active—writing daily blogs, novel-writing and working on crossword puzzles with my husband.

Those hands were once the subject of a beautiful photograph used in an exhibition. I guess the shape is the same—maybe a little broader. I can't wear my wedding ring any more. Instead, I wear a signet-style ring made from an Australian ruby set in 18ct gold. The only trouble with that is I commissioned the ring to be made out the melted gold from two former wedding bands and my first husband gave me the ruby he bought from the gem fields of Emerald, Queensland in Australia. My present husband doesn't comment. We've agreed that the ring takes the place of my wedding band.


PictureAging stages for the last 15 yrs.
My arms and legs are the same size, although every now and again I catch sight of dimples underarm where the muscles have released.  I don't wear make-up any more. My husband and I live a quiet life together and I rarely see anyone else so I can't see the point of painting my face at the age of 71. And here it is, showing the changes over the last 15 years. A smile looks better than a straight face, but the final shot had to be a serious passport-style photo for my disabled parking badge. A smile makes all the difference—as does make-up.

On the plus side, body hair on legs and under my arms is invisible and odor a thing of the past. The hair on my head is soft, long and strong, each strand twice as thick as before.

Against that, with a decreased production of natural oils, my skin is dry, lips painful unless slathered in protection. With age, the skin thins and becomes less elastic and more fragile. Wrinkles, age spots and small growths on my torso are increasing.


Picturewww.guardian.co.uk
Apparently, aging bones tend to shrink in size and density, which weakens them and makes them more susceptible to fracture. I've lost nearly three inches in height. I've become less coordinated as my muscles lose strength and flexibility. It takes longer to remember familiar words or names.  Maintaining a healthy weight is more difficult too. As you get older, your muscle mass decreases and body fat takes its place. Since fat tissue burns fewer calories than does muscle, you need fewer calories to maintain your current weight. This one really worries me. I don't like the stomach protruding whereas before I could feel my hips.

See more on Aging: What to expect. Click here to see what do about it. The advice consists of eating well, maintaining exercise and keeping your brain active.

There's even a Viagra for Women, Lybrido, for those who want to enhance or recapture their sexual experiences. Some women argue that the menopause is unfair to women, drying them up in every way. The same thing doesn't happen to men, who can go on reproducing for life. Women also grow fine hair on their jaw, which is so despised in our culture, yet normal for men.

Well, there you have it. I've revealed the good and the bad associated with aging. I want to go on writing. One of my online writing friends, Laurel Lamperd, is 104 years old and has seven published novels. For me, the worst is yet to come—the possibility of living in a retirement home with nothing to keep the brain alive until the body surrenders. And worst of all—doing it alone.


Trine Feuerborn link
5/30/2013 03:53:21 am

Francene, what a beautiful and honest post about the aging process. I am so exited to read more of your writing. At 38 I can't relate to all the physical changes just yet, but I can imagine this will be a helpful memory for me to have. Thanks for sharing.

Francene Stanley link
5/30/2013 07:08:55 pm

I'm so glad you'll find my information helpful in the future. Nobody likes to talk about aging and I was surprosed at how many people read the blog.

Rick Bylina link
5/30/2013 04:02:52 am

You've got me by a decade, but I'm starting to understand aging as I spend more and more time with my in-laws, one with Alzheimers and the other just old. Move! Move as best you can as often as you can. Moving will fight the muscle loss, increase oxygen flow, build muscle, help release the inner you, and spark more fire in the brain. You beat the snot out of me last year with your wonderful beta-read of ALL OF OUR SECRETS. Act alive and you are; act dead and you will be. That is what I've seen in the assisted living facility over the past two years. Laurel is my hero, but alas my bio ends at 101. Now, get to work on another book about the fountain of youth that resides within and not in a Florida backwoods pond infested with 20 foot long boa constrictors. Write on! Write on!! Brothers and sisters, amen. Write on!!!

Francene Stanley link
5/30/2013 07:11:57 pm

You're right about the necessity to move, Rick. I push myself through the pain on a daily basis to walk uphill and back. After your words, I won't give up. Laurel will be my guiding angel.

Amy link
5/30/2013 07:37:26 am

Wow, what courage and aplomb, Francene. I appreciate you and your thoughtful assessment of the world so much, including the world of your aging body. We all have to face the changes that the years bring, and you have illustrated some of them beautifully. I agree with Rick (above) with encouragement to move and use your muscles as much as possible, just like you are using your brain in your excellent writings. I'll echo Rick: Write on, Francene!!

Francene Stanley link
5/30/2013 07:19:54 pm

None of us wants to age, but nature ensures it happens. I'm glad my honesty didn't put you off. Not that you could change anything. Thank you for your appreciation. It's a precious gift.

Alana link
5/30/2013 10:54:33 am

At 60, I am just starting down this road but I see these things full force in my mother in law,who is 25 years less a day older than I am, and in the 101 year old aunt of my husband, who I've blogged about a couple of times. In some ways this was a painful post to read but in other ways so inspirational. You mentioned Laurel in a comment you made on my blog, and I went online to find Laurel on Goodreads, on Facebook, on Amazon. I visited two of her blogs. If she can do that at age 104 - Act alive and you are; act dead and you will be, indeed!

Francene Stanley link
5/30/2013 07:23:03 pm

How wonderful that you did some research on Laurel. She's certainly inspirational. You're lucky to know and love some elderly people. I think their wisdom enriches the world.


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    Francene Stanley, author of many published novels. If you like my writing, why not consider purchasing one of my books? You'll see them on the sidebar below.
    Born in Australia, I moved to Britain half way through my long life.

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