francene--blog. Year 2013
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August 25th

8/25/2013

 
Society is losing the plot as it becomes more secular and less trusting, the UK's outgoing Chief Rabbi Lord Sacks has said.

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My husband and I recently got to know an orthodox Jewish family. The children are well-behaved, quiet and respectful. When asked a question, they replied in a composed, thoughtful way. Without a shadow of doubt, the children will do well in their adult life, especially with the support of their community.

"If people work for the maximum possible benefit for themselves then we will not have trust in industry, in economics, in financial institutions, we will not see marriages last."

He also said institutions, including marriage, broke down when a person begins to lose faith and society becomes very, very secularized. He doesn't blame any government, but says it's the fault of what we call culture, which is society talking to itself. In the interview he argued that the breakdown of marriage had exacerbated child poverty in the UK. Children become the real victims.

"A situation where children grow up in stable association with the parents who bought them into being is probably the biggest influence on the eventual shape of a society."

Quote from: For Your Marriage — An initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

Marriage, the union of one man and one woman, is a personal, but not private, relationship with great public significance. Marriage is good for the couple; it is also provides the optimal conditions for bearing and raising children. Marriage makes an essential contribution to the common good. Some specific benefits are identified below.

Marriage and Health

• On average, husbands and wives are healthier, happier and enjoy longer lives than those who are not married.



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• Men appear to reap the most physical health benefits from marriage and suffer the greatest health consequences if they divorce.

• Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabiting mothers, probably because they are more likely to receive practical and emotional support from their child’s father and his family.

Marriage and Children

Children raised by their own married mother and father are:

• Less likely to be poor or to experience persistent economic insecurity

• More likely to stay in school, have fewer behavioral and attendance problems, and earn four-year college degrees

• Less vulnerable to serious emotional illness, depression and suicide

• More likely to have positive attitudes towards marriage and greater success in forming lasting marriages

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I agree with the precepts from these religions. In the seventies, my own children were happy, stable and well-behaved, whereas many of their friends were not. Their father and I worked together to present consistent guide-lines in a loving, caring home.

Nowadays, the only children I come in contact with are those accompanying their parent to the supermarket. Those children, mostly babies, are well-behaved on the whole. Their mothers are from a higher income bracket.

However, driving along the high street in Borehamwood, sometimes I notice children being dragged along the pavement beside strollers by uncaring and often smoking mothers. The children are screaming and the mothers are yelling between puffs.

Many people nowadays strive to get ahead, and accumulate as much wealth as possible. They live for the moment without considering the consequences for the whole of their community.

Where is society headed? If children are raised without rules, how can they hope to work with others in society when they mature?


Nancy link
8/24/2013 09:47:13 pm

I am strong believer that children deserve married parents. However, I had no choice but to go through divorce after 20 yrs of marriage with 3 kids. Factors such as applause for being a workaholic, self-absorption, increasing acceptance of infidelity and determination to keep up with the Jones, all played into how I ended up divorced. Fortunately, my kids are doing well now but clearly we see the impact that loss of respect for marriage has led to in our current society.

Francene Stanley link
8/25/2013 03:06:10 am

Unfortunately, both parents need to make the commitment and we can't be responsible for the other partner. So glad your children are doing well.

Sophie Bowns link
8/24/2013 10:50:45 pm

Children deserve a stable upbringing, but sometimes it is not always possible and sometimes in the long run, divorces can be for the best (so long as the parents can remain civil to each other.)

Francene Stanley link
8/25/2013 03:07:18 am

I agree with you. In some cases, separation of the parents is in the best interests of the children.

Deanna link
8/24/2013 11:58:25 pm

A very interesting and thought provoking post. But then all of your posts are. It will be interesting to see how society changes over the years, especially in this area. Well done, Francine!

Francene Stanley link
8/25/2013 03:08:16 am

I can only hope that the love between parent and child will hold society together.

Alana link
8/25/2013 10:33:10 am

A thoughtful post. I have mixed feeling about it. I was raised (from the age of 12) by my Dad after my Mom died. Therefore, my entire teenage hood was spent with a single parent. But again, it wasn't due to divorce, which is a totally different situation, and my father was loving and caring even though he wasn't home some 11 hours a day (long commutes to and from work). I can also look to three of my cousins, whose parents divorced when they were teens. Their mother had custody, but their father (my blood uncle) was very much in their lives (and still is). All three are successful adults. So I think "it depends".

Francene Stanley link
8/25/2013 06:26:44 pm

I agree. My parents divorced when I was seven, my sister was three and the other unborn. My mother did a wonderful job of raising three daughters. Circumstances vary, but at least we had rules back then.

Renee link
8/25/2013 11:35:57 am

I so agree! Mothers need to put the welfare of their children first. Shopping can wait until after nap time. Let them have a childhood. It s such a sad world we live in....

Francene Stanley link
8/25/2013 06:27:54 pm

Good point. So few children seem to have a proper childhood nowadays.

Amy link
8/26/2013 10:36:16 pm

Good points, Francene. Sometimes I fear for the future when I see neglectful or clueless parents with their children, but there are also many conscientious and good parents and families, too.


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    Author

    Francene Stanley, author of many published novels. If you like my writing, why not consider purchasing one of my books? You'll see them on the sidebar below.
    Born in Australia, I moved to Britain half way through my long life.

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